Thursday 18 October 2012

Debunking Nick Griffin's Likely Defences


Earlier today, Nick Griffin tweeted the address of the gay couple who took legal action against a B&B a while ago. He did this under the pretext of ‘heterophobia’, and promised that a “British Justice team” would give them “a bit of drama” to remind them that an Englishman’s home is his castle.

The couple in question are in their 50s and 60s, it is probably worth pointing out, just in case the clear incitement to violence weren’t bad enough for a younger couple.

He has been suspended by twitter, and many people are calling for his arrest. He is likely to play the victim in this, and continue to claim he is persecuted. But let’s debunk some of the possible defences he may try, shall we?

1 – “It weren’t me, your honour. I were hacked!”

Sorry, Nicky boy. Just after this happened, you used your twitter account to link to a statement on your website that explained why you referring to some Irish people as “Fenians” wasn’t racist in any way, but was in fact a call to the Irish to stop immigration into their own country or some such bollocks.

2 – “Inciting violence, your honour? No, of course not! I was merely suggesting some polite demonstration.”

This seems particularly likely, what with the BNP being known for their polite discourse and not at all for being a bit punchy when it comes to conflict. However, there’s one simple question that kind of breaks this idea.

What would a demonstration achieve?

The ruling has been made. They won. Even if they so chose, it’s not like they can now drop charges. With the absence of a working time machine it’s not likely that the kindly demonstrators would be able to do anything.

And besides, if Nick Griffin had a working time machine, he’d probably use it to go back in time to the 1940s and wank himself to death watching live speeches by Hitler. Or he’d go back and spend some time with his Gypsy Great-Grandfather*.

Basically, nobody believes that he was doing anything other than suggesting they get a kicking. Even if he had been, he’d likely have suggested a specific time. As it is, it was just publishing their address to his followers.

And if he did want to actually have a demonstration, why not outside the court rather than someone's home?

3 – “They’re heterophobes. They deserve it.”

Fuck off.

Not always being automatically in the right because of your sexuality is not the same as any actual discrimination. Complaining that you were treated differently because of your gender, race or sexuality is not the same as complaining that someone is different because of their gender, race or sexuality.
But in fairness, there is a time and a place for gay people in their 50s and 60s to have sex that isn’t their home. And the time is night time, and the place is a B&B somewhere quiet. Although they may have just wanted to have a Horlicks and listen to some Leonard Cohen. We’ll never know.

4 – “It was only a couple of tweets”.

He might have got away with this a little while ago, but after a strange year for the British justice system, people have been through serious court cases for things written on social media.

And they didn’t post people’s addresses, suggesting ‘justice teams’ were on their way around, seemingly thinking he was a shit Judge Dredd.

5 – “This is British Justice”.

No, it isn’t. The British Justice system has assessed this case, and have made a ruling. That’s part and parcel of living in Britain, a country that Nick Griffin claims to love, but is actually an embarrassment to.


In my professional legal opinion as just some guy, it seems to me that there’s a genuine possibility that Griffin may end up in jail over this. I rather hope that he ends up with a gay, black cell-mate, since it sounds like a wonderful premise for a sitcom. Well, I would hope for it, if it weren’t for the fact that it would be unfair to a gay, black cell-mate.

The best thing about this whole situation is that Griffin has absolutely, entirely, fundamentally and simply brought it on himself.

For me, this is why allowing the BNP to speak publicly is a good idea. They don’t seem to be able to help themselves but do stupid things like threaten violence, commit violence, and constantly expose themselves for the hate filled morons that they are.

Currently, Nick Griffin is suspended from Twitter. While I’d rather he be allowed the chance to further dig himself into his own hole, it does make for a nice message.

Nick Griffin is not capable of conducting himself properly in social media. But then, he does not seem capable of conducting himself properly in society.






*I would normally use the term traveller, but the thought that it may annoy Griffin amuses me enough to warrant otherwise.

Monday 8 October 2012

1 Missed Call


You have

1 Missed call from PAUL

1 New Voicemail

Diane looked at her phone for a long time before dialling the voicemail.

You have one new voicemail. Press 1 to –

She pressed 1.

“Hi babe. I’m stuck in traffic. I’ll try and make it up on the way, but hold off on dinner for a bit, will you?”

Press 1 to hear the message again. Press 2 to save it. Press 3 to delete it.

She paused, and then hesitantly pressed the 2 button before finally sorrow and relief overtook her and she burst into tears.

The hospital had called her on the landline, and she hadn’t seen the missed call until after they confirmed Paul’s death. The car had been hit by a truck less than a mile away from the house.

Her first thought, even though it sickened her in a way, was that she was free.

Free from the last fifteen years of marriage. Free from the manipulation. Free from the verbal abuse. Free from the disparaging remarks about her appearance. Free from the violence that he subjected her to every time he got drunk, and free from the inadequate apologies the next day.

She supposed she’d loved him but that feeling had been overtaken by fear a long time ago.

She went through the motions of a funeral, and the proper show of the bereaved wife and then moved to a new job and new life.

One night, she called up her voicemail. She decided to hear his voice one last time before deleting it forever.

You have one saved message. Press 1 to –

She pressed 1.

“Babe? Babe, I don’t know what’s going on. It hurts so much. I keep saying hello to you, but you don’t respond. What’s going on, baby? We can work this out.”

She deleted the message with a hand that hadn’t been shaking a minute before.

She didn’t sleep that night.

A week later, she checked her phone again. She must have been dreaming.

You have one saved message. Pre –

“Why aren’t you answering me, Diane? I said sorry last time. I meant it. Why aren’t you answering? Baby?”

She deleted it and threw the phone down.

The messages didn’t stop. He was always confused and always slightly scared. They came through about once a week at most, and once a month at least.

She changed phones, but they kept turning up. Changed numbers, to no avail.

Eventually, she met Mark. A nice man, this time. A quiet one. He respected her. Loved her.

The messages changed.

“Who the fuck is he, Diane? I saw you with him. Saw you. I will beat you until you can’t fucking walk.”

She stopped owning a phone then. Moved in with him. It worked.

Until he was hit by a car.

She was given his belongings by the hospital. Including his phone.

She looked at the screen.

You have

1 missed call from PAUL

1 new voicemail.